Meeting Etiquette

The project management world is all about "Communication, communication, communication," and like the real estate world, all other things being equal, the project manager with the best communication skills will come out on top.

As a Project manager (PM) you will do a lot of tasks; a couple of which include attending and hosting meetings. In the early days of any project, there will be many opportunities to get together with various individuals or groups to discuss the scope, schedule, budget, risks, etc. Focusing on the building world, these meetings could be the early stages of vetting the need for a new building or a renovation to an existing one. Projects are executed in phases which if you are a PMI-educated PM, you are familiar with. With that in mind, let’s look at all the meetings you could be involved in.

During the initiating phase of a project, the meetings can include the project sponsor, the project developer, members of the finance group, the facilities group, or a specific management team – all key Stakeholders. These meetings will be used to discuss the business needs and available funding so that the scope can be fine-tuned, and a baseline schedule can be developed so that you can move into the planning phase.

In the planning phase, you will meet with internal and external project stakeholders who could include architects, engineers, designers, and contractors. In this phase, you could be involved in months of design and status update meetings where you take the project requirements and come up with a set of plans to build or renovate whatever the project sponsor requested.

Once your plans are complete, you are ready to move into the executing phase and bring the plans to life. During this phase, you will typically have RFP meetings (requests for proposals), award meetings, kick-off meetings, pre-construction meetings, vendor pricing reviews, possibly value engineering meetings, safety meetings and of course regular status update meetings.

The monitoring and controlling phase (per PMI) should actually cover all the phases in my opinion and is not a separate phase. Your status update meetings will cover a lot of the monitoring and controlling activities.

The final phase is closing, which will involve more status update meetings, inspections, and punch list walkthroughs, which effectively are on-site meetings. These all wrap up with a final close-out meeting to make sure you have documented and delivered what the project goals were and have successfully brought the project to a closed status. This may include a final handover meeting to the operations or facilities team.

So, what was apparent in the above summary? You will be in a LOT of meetings!

The title of this article is “Meeting Etiquette”, so at some point, we need to cover what that means. Since you may not host all the previously indicated meetings, you will be both hosts and guests and each comes with its form of meeting etiquette. To kick it off, let’s cover the meetings you may host and what good meeting etiquette means for you. One thing that we all know is that etiquette is often a matter of personal beliefs and experience. Anyone can do a quick Google search on the term meeting etiquette and get a lot of results, from videos, and posts to articles and courses.

So, what I plan to share are some common themes combined with my own experience and beliefs of what good meeting etiquette is when hosting a meeting. The number one thing to remember is that although this is your meeting, you will typically be inviting a group of other people that are probably as equally busy as you, but you want them to engage and be a useful contributor while at your meeting.

You can make your meeting successful by following a basic set of rules:

  • Be on Time:
    • Actually, as the presenter, you better be early. What if your tech doesn’t work, the video remote is missing, someone is squatting in your conference room and motions to give them a minute? Numerous things can go wrong – get there at least five-ten minutes early so that when the meeting is scheduled to start, you are ready.
  • PREPARE for the meeting:
    • This could be one of the biggest factors in determining the success of your meeting. Did you prepare an agenda? Do you have handouts? Did you test the conference line? Did you bring a power cord in case the meeting goes over your laptop battery life? Been there – done that – Once (maybe twice)!
  • Provide & follow an AGENDA:
    • Provide an agenda ahead of the meeting, even if it is a basic bullet list. If you know more details, then give as much info as you can so attendees know what they are there for. Send it out as soon as you can – you can update it as the meeting gets closer if necessary.
  • Once you have an agenda, follow it. If you can set time frames as part of the agenda, that is even better.
  • Where I work, Safety is #1, so every meeting starts with a quick Level One Safety briefing, letting everyone know where the emergency exits are located, where any first aid and medical equipment are located, who will lead the group out in case of an emergency, who calls 911 and who can do CPR if necessary. This has proven to be useful as it saved a person in a meeting just last year.
  • Collect a roster if you have a larger group and be sure to get the remote caller’s info as well. This helps with follow-ups and being sure who was in attendance.
  • As the host, it is up to you to keep the meeting moving and focused. If it gets a bit sidetracked, offer to hold a follow-up call or meeting – you need to get through the base agenda items.
  • Define who is the LEADER or main speaker:
    • As the host, you are most likely the leader, but you may have some key guest speakers. Even those that may speak up or have questions need to feel that they can complete their thoughts. Let everyone know that the speaker has the floor and allow them to complete their presentation, question or thought.
  • STATE your name before speaking:
    • Many times, meeting attendees will not have met one another or may be on a conference call, it is hard to distinguish who is talking. By stating your name, it gives others a reference to who is speaking and allows the note taker to indicate who brought up a topic or solution.
  • Do a brief synopsis:
    • Do a brief synopsis at the end of the meeting with some key takeaways at the end of the meeting and let everyone know that the minutes will follow. Make sure you have allowed time for this as many attendees may need to jump to another meeting.
  • Provide meeting minutes:
    • Do this as quickly as possible, while it is fresh in the minds of those that attended – but most importantly – YOU. My goal is to provide minutes no later than 24 hours from the time of the meeting and usually less. On some days, when the meetings are back-to-back this becomes a struggle, but we need to do the best we can. If you manage your schedule well, you will allocate time to do this, so you can move to your next meeting or task efficiently.
  • In some cases, if possible, you may want to bring a team member along as an official note-taker or record the meeting if it is an acceptable practice at your company. It will be hard to take good notes while answering questions and keeping everything on track and under control. When I do this, I still take some form of shorthand notes so that I can compare them with what the note taker wrote or typed. You may have to go through a few teammates until you find someone that is in sync with you on what level of detail you desire.

In the end, because you will spend so much time in meetings, where people must choose, they will prioritize what meetings they will attend. The better their experience, the more likely they will attend your meetings.

  • Attending Meetings:
  • Just like hosting, when attending meetings, you can help make your host’s meeting successful, and get more out of it by following a basic set of rules:
  • Be prepared: Make sure you look at the provided agenda. Make sure if your name or group/team is listed in the agenda that you are prepared to cover your required portion of the meeting. If you didn’t get an agenda, it may be hard to know where the meeting may go.


  • PREPARE for the meeting:
    • As in the previous statement, try to find out what the meeting is all about. Understand the importance of the meeting. Prepare in advance any notes or questions that you may have for the meeting topic being discussed. Be sure you bring a notepad and pen or pencil. No matter how good your memory is, most people cannot possibly remember each and everything discussed during a meeting. A notepad helps in jotting down the important points for future reference.
    • Always keep your cell phone on the silent or vibrator mode. Cell phones ringing in the middle of meetings are considered rude and unprofessional. This is a huge distraction for others sitting in the same room and is a simple thing to avoid. If you do have to monitor calls, keep it on vibrator mode and try not to set it directly on a hard surface table as it will often be just as distracting as a ringing phone.
    • Unless it is an emergency or a critical call, do not take phone calls during a meeting. If you must, apologize quietly and step out of the meeting room.


  • BE on Time:
    • Show up early if possible, but if you are delayed because of a previous meeting or activity, be sure to come in quietly, find an open seat, acknowledge the host and start listening.
    • Showing up early allows for some handshaking and introductions that you may not get to do otherwise and of course, you can choose your optimal seating placement.


  • RESPECT the leader or speaker:
    • Don’t hijack the conversation from the speaker, whether it is the host or another attendee.
    • As you may swap the host and attendee roles, the respect you give of other people’s time will likely get you to respect during yours.


  • STATE your name before speaking:
    • Many times, meeting attendees will not have met one another or maybe on a conference call, it is hard to distinguish who is talking. By stating your name, it gives others a reference to who is speaking and allows the note taker to indicate who brought up a topic or solution.


  • MUTE your phone when not speaking:
    • This is a basic conference call item that we all deal with on large calls – like monthly or weekly account updates. On some of these calls, there can be 100 or more people and if a couple of attendees do not have their phones on mute it can be HUGELY distracting.
    • Listening to people yawn, shuffle through a binder, slurp their coffee, etc. is so annoying when a simple press of the mute button ends it all.
    • Make sure you know where the mute button is and mute it as soon as you have introduced yourself and leave it that way until you need to speak.


  • FOCUS on the meeting (no multi-tasking):
    • The meetings you will attend are either to inform you of something or to get your input, but either way, you were invited for a reason.
    • Respect the host and the other attendees by not checking your email on your and cell phone laptop constantly.
    • Laptops are one of those items that are an often hotly debated item in meetings. Some, especially the newer generation, do not take paper notes, they do it on their laptop. I get this, and if that was all they were used for that would be fine. I have sat in quite a few meetings where a person next to me is working on, emails, proposals or even Facebook.

Summary Thoughts

Some people are unsure of the laptop etiquette when it comes to meetings, phone etiquette is usually understood, but I see way too many folks checking their email, texting or surfing when they should be focused on the meeting. You may think it makes you look industrious – likely the opposite.

When in a meeting, look around the room, look at your customers, and look at the managers, what are they doing?  Are they involved, are they paying attention, and are they focused on the meeting they are attending? What do you get from your observations?

How do you want to be perceived?  Do you think others are watching you?  Are they forming their own opinions of you? Do those opinions matter?

If you are not focused on the meeting because you are using the time to catch up on emails on your phone or laptop, or doing work not related to this meeting? Why are you there?  Maybe it’s better that you call in. At least the attendees won’t see that you are not focusing on the present meeting.

When you are not focused on the meeting, others will notice by your posture, cell phone in hand, or when 45 minutes into a meeting when you are asked a question, you must ask what project this was for.

There will be meetings that you are forced to attend for some reason, so there will inevitably be a time that you are bored, tired irritated, etc., but in those regular meetings where you are there as a guest to be informed or to contribute, don’t just focus during your portion of the meeting; – stay focused and be professional and you may just learn something new.

Each company has norms and expectations, learn yours and adapt as required.

Do you have questions about this or other project management topics or would you like to see more detail on a specific area? If so, please send an email to with your questions or comments.